The waiting is over

[ACJ]

I had a call from my L's assistant this morning. It seems my D was official as of yesterday. They were calling as they didn't want me to just find the piece of paper sitting on my door step tomorrow. For that I am eternally grateful.

I've mixed emotions. This has been going on so long it was always going to be easier the longer it went on. I'm relieved b/c bar the transfer of equity being completed it is over. I'm sad b/c he was the love of my life. I'm angry that my children had to suffer this indignity along with me. I'm even more angry b/c H found out yesterday and chose to tell S17 before he bothered to find out if I knew. I'm curious to see what or who is waiting for me aroudn the corner. I'm no longer scared but certainly wary of what life has to offer me from now on. I'm fearful for my financial future but know that I am a survivor.

It's done and I'm sure eventually there will be some tears but for now they are few and far between.

[BeingMe]

Hi ACJ! Not sure if I should say "congratulations", but I am glad that you are no longer in limbo, waiting for this D. You are a survivor, my friend. I remember how you felt right at the beginning, and it is so different now.

Try and breath free air, be excited about future adventures, and scrape the last dregs of this long, painful journey off. Do you recall when we still travelled by steam train (well, in Africa we did as children), and you would get all that soot everywhere on your body. Yuck! (Didn't help that you put your head out the window every time the train went into a curve.) Then, at the end of the journey, you would be able to have a lovely hot bath and wash it all off. Ah! It was like being reborn, all fresh, and clean. Then we would go off to the beach, where it's sunny and happy. Think of your future as that beach.

Can you tell I'm taking creative writing? Ha! I think in imagery now.

Good luck!

[ACJ]

Thanks BM. Maybe we should all use thinking in imagery as a survival tool

[kat727]

Well at least that awful waiting is over. I never got any kind of official announcement it was over(but then again I never was served either) but I remember getting the first child support check from the state. I just cried for about 5 minutes and told myself, enough of that. Better things are ahead. I just survived the worst 2 years of my life and gosh why would I want someone that was willing to put me through all of that??

This is time to go on a slightly different path. One day you will be thanking your lucky stars for setting you off this way.

hugs, kat

[ACJ]

Thanks Kat.

I've been to a staff awards celebration tonight. I was nominated for an award but unfortunately didn't win. Never mind it was a lovely evening anyway.

[MidwesternGirl]

I am sorry ACJ. It is never easy, no matter what path one chooses in situations such as this.

There is someone wonderful for you out there.

[kat727]

What is that saying... "It is an honor to just be nominated". Yet we know everyone really hopes to win. Glad you had a lovely evening anyway.

I think this "freedom" from ex has allowed me to go back to some of my old dreams and hopes. granted I now have 4 kids in tow and that doesn't make it easy. Really though, anything worth doing is not going to be a piece of cake.

Hang in there hon, we are all going to get through this together.
hugs, kat

[ClingingToHope]

I'm going to be in your shoes in about a year and I hope to handle it as well.

[forward]

I'm going to be in your shoes in a matter of weeks. I am sorry as I know that even when we accept it, it is still difficult.

[mandyloo]

ACJ, you have been at this for approx same time as myself, so you find yourself divorced, but I do like Trueloves header, and it is "Divorced its only a piece of paper but I'm sad", it is amazing what these mlcers get up to throughout their journey, I remember saying to you back in the early days that I thought we would be the ones on the longest of journeys with the craziest of guys, to put it in a nutshell Acj, I see no end to this in my sitch, nor in yours I think there is still plenty or action coming up in the years ahead. Nothing is rational, but you know what acj you have to live your life and enjoy your time on earth, and I know people have said that to me and I think its not as easy as it sounds, people dont know what we go through with all this, but hey chin up and have fun, I know it isnt easy lovey, but look at the mlcer they are having fun, only this morning my ex is going on yet another holiday with wifey, strange that he had to sell his car in order to make ends meet but can jet off again, one day it will hit them love, ONE DAY.