I've prayed regularly that she would heal, and that she would forgive me. Early on, I prayed for restoration of the marriage...then I got to where I just prayed for God's will (He already knew what I wanted) and the knowledge of His will. I prayed for wisdom and discernment. I have pretty much forgiven myself for being the way I was (took a long time), but I'm still disappointed that I was that way and this all is the result. I've asked for her forgiveness, may times...she doesn't like it. As more time passed, she got to where she was more and more pissed that she was treated like she was.
Despair isn't gonna keep me from being a better dad, man, or partner.
I think the best thing for me, right now, is to finish completely detatching. Period. Heavy stuff coming up with the divorce proceedings.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
