Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
How is it starting out for him? Good I hope. You did a good job staying out of the middle with his Dad. It is between them and it really sounds as if he is making a pretty good mess on his own. Hope everything else is going well.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I've heard no more from S17 about coming home. I am cool with that he knows I want him hear and he knows that financially I will treat him fairer than his father. The rest is up to him. I don't really know how H took the news about S17 transferring to the new course but the undertones and unsaid words say that he isn't happy.
New saga this week
D14 is supposed to be with STBXH this week. She did go on Sunday as planned. On Monday I went to a retirement do straight from work for someone who I used to work closely with in my old job. I got in my car to come home at about 10pm and switched my phone back onto ring. Immediately I got a call from S17. I had already seen from y messages that D14 had been trying to contact me all night. felt a bit guilty abuot that. S17 wanted to know if I was home yet ans D14 was very upset and wanted to come home. I could hear her in the background sobbing and shouting at H. So I drove straight over there to pick her up although it took half an hour to get there from where I was.
Long story short. OW expected that even after a week she should still get an apology from D14 for them falling out the week before. D14 made it quite clear she was not going to apologise and pointed out that there had been an intervening week. H told D14 to grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW tried to sned D14 to her room for insolance (oh pleeeeeeeeeeeease!) D14 refused and reminded OW (again) that she is not her mother. STBXH gave his best performance yet by telling D14 that whilst OW may not be her mother she would make a far better mother than I ever could. It doesn't take a genius to work out why D14 wanted to come home.
He rang her all day yesterday from 6am onwards. She had been crying all night, was exhausted and din't go to school. She didn't answer his calls and eventually switched her phone off. I took her to pick up her things after tea. Thankfully for her he wasn't there at the time. Eventually he snet a TM saying come for tea on friday and we will sit down and siscuss this as a family. D14 reminded him that they weren't a family and that she wouldn't be going for tea. he then invited her to stay next week instead. She declined telling him that if he was lucky she might go an stay the next time she was supposed to be there. At this point he retreated back into his MLC hole.
I've made no contact with him. I've told D14 that what he said is just words and that whilst I appreciate that it hurts her very much she should just see it as H trying to dig himself out of a very deep hole that he has dug for himself. I've given her lots of hugs and reassurance. i've told herif she wants to go back later in the week I will take her but I fairly certina that she will stick to her guns.
It may have taken a very long time but I truely believe that at long last H is starting show himself in his true colours. Two faux pars in as many weeks regarding extremely contnetious issues ofr his children and look what happens.
If you are newbie and reading this please remember that I've been at this a veeeeeeery long time and I am hardened to the hurt. But also remeber that everything comes to he/she who waits
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Omigosh! Poor D14! (Although, I must say, good-oh on her standing up for herself with OW. Step-whatevers should not try and replace the parent --- seldom goes over well.) You surely have been doing this for a long time and finally, the pigeons are coming home to roost, for STBXH, and it turns out the pigeons are actually chicken. Wahahahaha!
I am glad that you are dealing with all this so cool and calmly. You are supporting your D14 brilliantly, not too much and not too little.
They are living their lives like a soap opera. And, her a better mother than you? Hahahahaha! She isn't even one yet.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
