You should give us more of your situation. Many of us can relate and at least give encouragement even if ours isn't exactly the same. Often you will get advice about the things you are doing and how effective they are. Plus it helps to get stuff off your chest, to lay it out for others instead of holding it inside where it can eat away at you.

~Mark

Me: 38
W: 34
Together: 9yrs
1st M: may '03
1st D: april '08
1st bomb: june '08
remarried: oct '08
2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)