If you are trying to compete with that, you are going to disapoint yourself. Remember, your H is in a fog right now. He is in fantasy land. You need to quit worrying about him and OW and focus on making your life the best it can be. He will start to notice changes once you start fixing your own life and making it great. He will also start to notice as things start falling out of fantasy land for him with OW if you have done the work on your own life.
Don't think about what would make him happy to see. Think about what would make you happy and able to enjoy YOUR life. And also, give this time. Be patient. It is a long roller coaster ride for most on here. And I don't mean a couple of months. For most it is a couple of years. Don't expect the over night fix. Pray for it, but set your expectations for a long ride.
Take care of YOU. Don't do something and then stop and think about what your H might think. Just do it and enjoy the moment whether it be with your kids, or some friends, or just you by yourself doing something you enjoy doing.
It will be hard at first. But it will become more natural if you are consistent every day.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
