I have had the idea from what you post that you must be still trying to talk her out of a D whenever you see her.....and this backs that up:
Quote:
I was honest, maybe to a fault, in saying that it is difficult to respect her wishes of not begging for her to change her mind when we are going through this together
I don't know that it does any good for me to point out to you that the more you "beg"....the less attractive you are. She doesn't want to see begging, crying, pleading, promises, etc. And, you can't seem to get it through your head that b/c she reacted angry when you were showing a positive mental attitude......that that was a good sign....and you get the idea that you are doing the "wrong" thing and she may think you want a D. Read my signature line!
In fear that she will get the wrong idea, you asked if you should continue to act happy,. Of course you continue to act happy and upbeat. If you show how sad you are, then NOBODY will want to be around you. Listen, the fact is that the way she is feeling--and the way you are feeling--should be swapped with each other. Then maybe you would get the right idea of DBing. Like when your imagination was running wild and thinking she might be with OM. That is what she should have been thinking. She should have wondered if she set you free just so you could go out with OW. And...who know? Maybe she did wonder about that.
She needs to see you making it just fine without her.....and you are scared to death to show her that. She needs to see a strong man who is self-confident and will make the most of his situation. Don't you want to be that attractive man to her? Then, stop acting like some pitiful sad-sack and start showing her how great you are. You will not be able to do this in any type of privacy--like when you were living together, but there will be times that she will see you. Even if it is three minutes....make them count.
You said DB was not working. What did you base that statement upon? The fact that you waited until time for her to find a lawyer to start applying the principles....or was it b/c she wasn't stopped dead in her tracks? DB does work and if you are smart (and I think you are) then start reading the book again and keep doing what it says.
Holy crap this is spot on. I am putting on the game face today and going in the MC a happy content man. I do not care that she thinks I am being bipolar over the last few days. I am going in and saying a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The only problem is how do i keep putting up that front?
