I am not sure of much anymore. So here is what I need some expert advice on…..I think my W is having an affair. W’s behavior is similar to what I saw and how she acted during her EA earlier in the year with a married man. Family comes second. She doesn’t realize that is how she is behaving until the kids or I bring to her attention like... Being gone for 9 hours on a weekend day for studying and leaving kids and us hanging not knowing when she is planning to come home. When we do something without her she is mad at me. No longer going to church with family. Doing her own laundry and no one else’s. Cant empty dishwasher, put away laundry for kids and too many other things to mention.
Sorry, back to the point. My W has been carpooling to school with a classmate. I posted some detail in previous posts. She would not introduce him to me. She did introduce him to kids and mother. She had him load in the car or she loaded in the car away from all of us at home. It came to a head when looking for my W and kids I found her at friends house and OM there waiting. Still having not met him I confronted her and said I am not OK with "boy" "friend" being somewhere with my W and kids and me not knowing. After this meeting he was scared of me and how abusive I was to him and her when I found them. What happened was I shook his hand and moved away from his car and said rather loudly (with no swearing) a quick sentence using the words boy and friend.
After the discovery, we had a long drawn out conversation on the phone. Many things were said in her explanation for this sitch. Her main reason she came to was she was not thinking of me when she was arranging the "pick-up" and she was sorry. Another excuse given was he was living with girl friend and they are getting married in March. So he is not BF. I want so badly to ask her what the OM fiancée’s name is and when the wedding date is in March. I don’t think he is engaged or getting married or living with “his” girlfriend. Also she was not interested in him and he is not interested in her that way. We finished the call with what I thought was an agreement of no more car polling with OM.
Well kid and I go out for pizza this week and find my W's car in parking lot on school day. Tell W I am not cool with her doing this and it seems that she is deceiving in her hiding of this sitch. W says it wasn’t deceptive. She just didn’t tell me about it as it might upset me if she did. She went on to say it is saving me money. It then escalated from there to our sitch and each of us asking the other to leave the house. She got mad and said she deserved this schooling as it is due to her for taking care of “MY” kids for the last 9 years as a stay at home mom. Found this a very odd comment.
W now wants to discuss how she can get back to car pooling as it is so hard for her to drive by herself. And how long it is to drive there. All of which makes no sense as it is still the same distance when she drives and not him. She knew this up front when signing up for school so I am still stumped on this excuse for carpooling. She wants to couple this discussion with separation talk as we have a disagreement on how much I get to see the kids when it all hits the fan.
There is so much more that I want to write but this is good enough for now.
