I think the letter is a great doc. I am not sure it will elicit a response. I believe WAS have their brains frozen in time. Most remember the bad things you did and cant forgive/forget them so they are blind to the new sitch and changes. And others still wont acknowledge the changes as it make stheir decision to leave a bad one and WAS do not make bad decessions.
I am not sure about all your sitch but if H said you were controlling this could be construde as controlling by trying to get him to talk about the sitch. I tried this and was tried and convicted by my W as being controlling. I have found in the few times I have taken my own and others advise...let it breathe and come back to it later and see if it makes sense.
My heart goes out to you. Like many here say every sitch is different although the script seems the same.
