When we say to not confront the OM, there's nothing that says HE has to know that you're not going to confront him! In fact, let him spend every waking moment wondering just what the hell you're up to! The man is a predator, and deserves no peace.
Does the switchboard operator know your voice? If not, call their office there, in your town, while he's here, and tell them you want to leave a message for him. Don't give your name. Say "It's imperative that I speak to him, immediately. Can he be paged? I'll hold. If I have to hang up, I'll just come by in about an hour, and try to see him in person."
That's almost like what I did. I called the switchboard & asked if they could reach him because he's in town today. Receptionist tried to find which office he's using but couldn't...but said she's pretty sure he's there today. I didn't do the message part. Wish I thought of that before I called.
Me-39 W-31 S-4 Bomb- 9/5/09 Discovered EA- 9/15/09 Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09 W moved out 10/31/09
Please understand -- I do NOT advocate you actually go there, or even that you actually talk to him on the phone. Just want HIM to get a message like "Some guy called for you. Wouldn't leave his name, but he sounded pretty upset. Said he was probably just going to come by and ask for you."
How are you doing? Honestly? DO you have family or close friend that you can be with today?
I'm doing horribly. Obsessing and not getting anything done at work. I might actually leave for the day. Don't have anybody nearby I can spend the day with...I could call one of my buddies though. He's one I've been confiding in.
Me-39 W-31 S-4 Bomb- 9/5/09 Discovered EA- 9/15/09 Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09 W moved out 10/31/09
Pick a good friend that you can talk to about it on a regular basis with.
I would be careful what you confide to your family about at this time. I told my family too much in the early days of my sitch and it is causing me problems now, as they are now critical of my attempts to reconcile with my W.
But having a good friend who will understand and who you can call frequently and meet with regularly is invaluable.
I had a running buddy that I would talk with - our morning runs became invaluable to me.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
