There is a lot of hope for this marriage. I think a weekend a Retrouvaille would give you both the opportunity to open up to each other in the positive way that you would like. And it will teach you to live together in a healthy way. It's not just talk. It is a weekend of releasing the past and starting a much better future. Go to www.helpourmarriage.org and look for a weekend in your area. They have helped people in much worse situations than yours to go on to happy marriages!