So tomorrow is the big day. A judge will sign the forms and ... my marriage will officially be over. I was OK during most of the day. But right now ... now ... just sucks and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I hope she is happy. I am not. There's nothing to say, really. She's gone. And I didn't even get a goodbye.
Hey man.... I can't begin to tell you how badly I feel for you that you have to go through this. This REALLY sucks...big time.
Like me, your emotions will be (and are) all over the map, both before and after. But because of that, it's even more important to maintain your perspective. Let yourself process the emotions. All of them. But don't let your perspective on this be swayed by them.
Beginners is right. She will try to convince herself that she is happy, but just like with all the lies she tells everyone else, (Did you think you were the only one she lied to?).....she forgets one very important truth.
She is lying to herself.
She is so confused and desperate right now, that she will do ANYTHING to get away from herself. Unfortunately for the both of us, that is the path that both our spouses needed to take. In all of this, remember that she IS in crisis. She's fumbling around for the solution to what's wrong, because she never learned to cope with her problems way back when. Now she has to "relearn" what she never learned to do in the first place!
And she WILL make mistakes.
BIG ones.
She thinks this D will make her happy, and solve all her problems. It won't.
They have their work to do of trying to figure out their lives. So do we. I know just how much you hurt right now, MW. I know the frustration and helplessness you're feeling right now. But please believe me when I tell you that things will get better. Remember that this is just another signpost on the path, my friend. Remember that this is a PROCESS. For both of you.
Healing comes. Slowly. Go easy on yourself. Process your feelings. Take time for you.
Give me a call if you feel like talking....
PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE CONQUER ALL THINGS. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
DBing and MLC take their toll....Please provide exact CHANGE. -Jimbo
