Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[Thinker]

At first she "had no idea" how the condoms got there.

EA...says it's been going on for "a couple weeks". She's attracted to the OM and considered making it a PA...that's why she had the condoms.

I think she was trying to come up w/ the "least hurtful" name, if that makes sense.

When I confront her w/ "proof", she only admits to the least serious "offense". The email exchage I found was the first time they every got flirty. I found condoms but she never used any of them. Really hard to believe any of those things.

I still feel like she's only giving me part of the story.

This seems to be a standard part of the script. I had a similar situation. Each time I found something it was the "Only Time" and it had only been going on for "a few days", etc etc.

I think it was Puppy who told me that Cheaters, when caught, will always admit to one level less than what has actually been happening - if it is an EA, it was only a short term flirt, if it was a PA, then it was only an EA, etc.

I am really sorry you are in this sitch etrain. I really am. I know what it feels like and it SUCKS!!

I think you are doing the right thing, even it it does seem to hasten the S. You are not hastening the S, the A is! You CAN NOT fix your M until the A is over. The A most often does not end until it is exposed. Once it is exposed, the fantasy and the excitement can disappear along with it.

Stay Strong. You are handling it.

You have to have a plan - write it down if you have to. "If this A does not end immediately then I will..." Get it firm in your mind, tell her what you have decided, and then, if she does not immediately agree to end the affair and provide full transparency, start executing your plan.