What are you doing for yourself? I may have missed something, but I didn't see any reference to GAL'ing or 180's. You also noted that you lean towards co-dependency....so GAL'ing is that much bigger for YOU. It appears that you are trying to find a route to save your marriage, but the first step is actually about regaining yourself.
As far as your original question...there are different options for you to follow. What I have found is that we don't really choose the path, the path chooses us. We may change paths through out the situation depending on our boundaries, but in the end the only path we truly have control over is taking care of and improving ourselves.
