"I've even asked on occasion if he thinks maybe we need some M counseling & I get the question asked back "Do YOU think we need M counseling?""
Why is it any worse for him to ask you the question rather than stating his view than vice versa?
What if you said: "H, our M is not working well for me. I think we can do much better. I want MC for us."
"Maybe "his needs, her needs with children" or whatever it's called would have some good ideas for me. I need to dig that out. I know we have it somewhere. If he saw me reading it, maybe we could start some sort of R talk that would be helpful."
What if you simply started some sort of R talk that you would like to start? "H, I don't feel that my needs are being met. For instance, my need to ___________ I feel is unaddressed."
Less game playing, more directness. Of course, this requires being open and vulnerable, but if you aren't up for that, then there probably isn't much room for M improvement.
And, it would be brave and quite a good idea to check out whether you might be depressed...
