Please tell us your whole story. And everyone's right here. when our h's or w's are in the "love phase" of the affair, it LITERALLY changes their brain chemistry (good book: Love Detours or After the Affair). Very much like a drug addict after they take their first hit. This isn't mere metaphore, it's actual FACT and biological. So you CANNOT get too hung up on their actions and words right now. I learned this and it took a verylong time NOT to take the things he said about ow as TRUTH.
Just an fyi. After the affair was exposed (I didn't go snooping for several months because I couldn't BEAR to know who she was), when I finally found out (wow, h, seven year olds can talk!! lol), I confronted h (they worked together, of course), and within(and I'm not kidding), within TWO WEEKS the whole thing was over. That is not so say that will happen to you but exposing the thing is not good for affairs as they thrive in secrecy. It is a relatioship not based in reality.
Just hang in there. The best thing you cando right now is focus on YOU. I know you have read this before on here, but it is true. GAL, NOT for your spouse -- but for you. You will find yourself focusing less on the sitch and more on positive things. Think of this time as a breather for YOU. An affair has NOTHING to do with the ow/om. It has EVERYTHING to do with the marriage. It has everything to do with how your spouse feels about himself/herself. It's an escape. Rather than deal with issues in the marriage, an affair offers a respite or "break" from the problems -- very much like an addict on drugs or alcohol.
