Dia, Hi. I've been reading along, very interested in your posts, not saying too much but applauding your progress. Agree with what you've said about LL. That book said such a lot to me and I'm an advocate of it in all relationships, not just with our partners.
The examples that come to mind from the past
When we had guests, H was the perfect host, getting drinks and organising things and then cleaning up afterwards. I would get really annoyed about the cleaning up because I just wanted him to leave the dishes and come and enjoy the company of our guests.
H worked really hard and I craved time with him. I didn't get the need to work like that. He didn't get my need for his company.
On the empty tank and non-primary LL;
I felt much the same emotions as you when just after separation H gave me very expensive perfume but it wasn't one that I ever wore.
Originally Posted By: Dia
Here's another thought I've been mulling over. The depth of my hurt over his A with my ex-BFF isn't about the sex. It's that after all of my pleading for more time, after starving for it for so long, he was giving that very thing, the thing I craved from him more than any other - to HER. So all that bullshit about being too busy, too tired, too sick was just... BULLSHIT. He was giving MY primary LL to someone else.
Yes, yes, yes that certainly resonates with me!
So glad you are getting the opportunity to share these thoughts with H and so wonderful that he is reading!
