You're right about not trying to label what she did. The person I married is in there somewhere and the truth will be known to her once her fog lifts.
Maybe...but we don't have the same scorecards and won't measure or recall things the same way, ever... and really, does it matter? If she wants back in, fully and in a healthy way, must you insist she see the M history the same way?
I guess I should clarify in that I know that when we R, it will not be the same relationship as before. She is going through her own changes as sure as I'm going through mine. Funny how when they go through a MLC, it triggers our own in a much more positive way.
You bet. I'm much more centered now. Yet also at a crossroads of sorts professionally and am exploring things I would not have before. (Professionally speaking, that is!)
In terms of the detachment, I had gotten to the point after my panic attack where I detached a little too much and really didn't care if she was alive or dead. It was a little too detached. So I had to reign in some of the resentment I had for her and get a little bit of the affection back for her.
I still think you need more GAL stuff and some mystery. There is much more motivation for her to "get it" or have an "aha" moment and CHANGE herself, if she thinks she could lose you. If she knows you'll always be there waiting...why on earth shouldn't she take her time to check out ALL the grass on the other side? I"m not saying to date...but am saying do something to keep her guessing a little, and to wrap up her dang MLC sooner rather than later...
I look at her now and just see a shell of the person I married. Too sad. Did your W look better after her D? Mine is getting skinnier and having skin problems.
Some WAS's look much better, some much worse. All seem to change in appearance though. There's a struggle to change their lives and they don't know how...it's a search that they keep external --changing jobs, hair, spouses, homes, until finally it's obvious even to them, that the search and journey really are inward ones...
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
