For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[courts0818]

Just wanted to update and say that tonight went pretty good. When H came home I was making DD a sandwich, H said it looked good. I asked if he wanted one and he said yes. That was the first nice thing I've even thought about doing for him lately.

Tonight DD was on a monster kick - thinking there are monsters in the house. So, we got out the squirt bottle and started spraying our "Go Away Monster Spray" which is water. She sprayed her room and then we went into our bedroom. H was watching TV on the bed and I coudn't resist, I squirted him right in the face. ha ha. I just had to do it. Well...it turned into a huge water fight and a wrestling match and a lot of trash talking. All in all it was fun. And when he dumped a small bucket of water all over the floor, I didn't have a fit. I just laughed and seeked revenge.

We also ended up having a plastic block fight tonight. I'm not sure what all this was about - and I'm still focusing on ignoring him and GAL. But, it was nice to just have a little fun with him. I for sure let him see fun Courtney. Heck, I even drank one of his beers and I very, very rarely drink a beer. Guess I was cutting loose and just thought it sounded good.

When he left tonight, I was chopping up apples. He walked out and a minute or so later he came back in with my cell phone. That was weird. I had noticed that my phone wasn't on the counter where I was chopping apples, but I didn't really think anything about it. When he walked back in with my phone, I had a puzzled look on my face and I made a comment - I can't even remember exactly what I said. But, he said he didn't look through it. Now that's weird. I had like 150 text messages on my phone, but nothing bad... and that's too bad...would have liked to make him think a little about what was on there. IDK if he even looked, but why would he even take my phone?

I just want to be sure that my playful behavior the last 2 days isn't giving him the idea that everything is cool. That's a hard balance - trying to show him I'm no longer focused on him, but also that I'm still fun, happy and carefree.