8 months into it, first post

[EJohn]

Just got home after the Children in the Middle Class. It was a good class. Our time together was nice. Lots of eye contact, laughing and flirting. Everything felt like it used to. She touched me a few times, and offered to get me water and snacks from the table.

On the way home, we talked about what we saw in class, and it progressed into a R talk. Not a real heavy one, but enough info came out. Got the "I just don't want to be committed to anyone right now." I told her I was still struggling with the concept of being with her again. I told her that I don't want the divorce, don't think it's a solution, but if that is what she wants, I won't hate her for it (goes with the parenting class, I want to be a good co-parent). Also told her that I'm happy on my own, but I have enough regrets in my life, and I don't want this to be another one. She said we can postpone the divorce. I agreed, although I will have a deadline (in my mind), if she doesn't have it together by then, I think I'll be able to walk away without regret, or at least less regret.

I can mentally wait longer. We'll see how far my patience can stretch. So I'll keep on with what I'm doing now, no contact and just being the best me I can be. That is all I can control.