Normally...yup I'd be right with you about the eggshells.
However, in AYD's case, eggshells are perferable to tromping through the tuplips with combat boots...and a back hoe.
He should care what she thinks...not that any action on his part is going to change her mind at the moment...or for a long time downthe road...but the LBS should be aware and care not to pis s of the MLCer needlessly.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Sorry about the slow reply...I just had a problem with my daughter that had to come before this board or work...Do you get how my priorities are stacked? I used to work way to much...one of my biggest 180's was working less. The payoff came about a year later when my son looked at me and said "Dad I love that you spend all your time with us. It is a lot more fun with you around". A perfect example that DB'ing is about more than saving your marriage.
Reply to her email keep it short and easy.
Example-Thanks for the information on the kids schedule. I would like to see them on the two evenings before/after practice, so tell me when and where to meet you. I am busy Friday, but let's plan on me joining them for Lunch.
The end twist to lunch is that you are going to find a way to get the whole afternoon off to spend with the kids. NOTE-THIS IS NOT FOR YOUR WIFE...THIS IS FOR YOUR KIDS. Show them that they are a priority. You will be amazed in how kids will react to becoming a priority...the better part is how much YOU will gain out of making them a priority.
Oh...by the way...Thumbs up on the patience. I know it is killing you, but it will get easier.
Drewnole-Read the very last sentence from Jack...I think that really is a key tool to dealing with MLC'er's as opposed to WAS. You have to pick your battles a little bit more carefully...because sometime there is no need to p@ss them off needlessly. MLC is a long road.....it is a long war that won't be won in one battle, but can be lost in one battle....MLC'ers are almost like Kamikazee....we can watch them crash and burn, but sometimes they decide that crashing might not be the best thing to do. We as the LBS need to not cause the crash unnecessarily.
Yes, I too had to go and deal with a sick kid and some house stuff. See priorities.
Do NOT tell her you will see about getting the afternoon off, just try. If you do, what a wonderful surprise for the kids.
The email is good.
I like the boundary you set for yourself. You can read them, take the time to decide what to say if anything, and deal with it later.
If she is mad that you didn't reply right away, don't argue, don't defend, simply let her know you were tied up at work and got to it as soon as possible.
Drew--yes Jack's words really are ones to remember and do your best to apply.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
