Questions for The DB'ing Pros - Help!

[neversaydie63]

Update:
Hey everyone, just posting an update for the last 10 days or so.

Sunday, the 27th of Sept, we had gone to dinner with a gourmet group that we belong to. We were not alone of course so we did not have a lot of one on one time but all and all it went well. I made a joke about a bush (old joke about the home owner) when we pulled up ad the W laughed her ass off so I think that is a positive, small step.

Went out again on Friday, Oct 2nd - it was her turn to set up the date but she was not able to make reservations at the place she wanted to take me (they were booked for a private party) so we ended up meeting at her place, having some wine and having a nice conversation, no R talk and I did not comment on ANYTHNG in her place. She was watching a friend’s dog so we hung out for a while with the dogs and laughed. I am really working on listening to her and being totally engaged when she talks (and she can talk, much more that I, the 3 to 1 rule is not a problem! - LOL)

Ended up having dinner at a small Italian place and had a great time, nice, friendly conversation, more wine, good food. Then, I drove her back to her place where I came in for a bit and talked. This is when she began to turn a little (not sure why but I am sure that all the wine helped things along) She talked about, in an edgy, aggressive tone, about all the digital pictures I had taken over the years and had never shared with her. I did not react, just listen. Then she gave me a backhanded compliment on my hair cut (it was fairly long for most of the time we were together but lately, mostly because it is really thinning, I have been buzz cutting it) saying that she had asked me again and again to buzz my hair for many years and now I finally do it. I smiled and asked her if she liked it and she said of course se did because that is what she was telling me for years! – I did not argue with her nor defend myself; I just smiled and thanked her for the compliment. The last thing she brought up was the rain gutters, she mentioned that at our rental property, she was going to be getting new gutters for the house and the cost was going to be 1800 dollars. I did react to this, just a bit, and asked her how we were going to pay for this? That is when she pounced on me and said she was just going to have it done and was not going to wait for 6 years, like at our house, to have it fixed. (That is true, there was a small leak that I said I was going to fixed and never got around to it and finally, while we were in MC, I made a to do list of unfinished projects and we had it done by a professional) She was very intent on getting this done, and was going to do it w or w/o my approval. I bit my tongue, as I did want to tell her that we should talk about such a large expense before we do it, but I did not. The interesting thing was that when she was telling me all of this, and how w she had to wait for 6 years before, she was very, very angry – lots and lots of anger! – Wow. That was my sign that it was time for me to excuse myself, call it an evening, I kissed her good night, told her I had a great time, and went home.

The next morning, she sent me an email about the gutters that says that “I never talked to her about the money I spend on my Hot Rod (this is true) and now I question her on gutter work that NEEDS to be done, humm, how does that work?? Just a Question” So, how do I handle this one.?? I told here I did want to talk to her about her email but I have not seen her since last Sat so I have we have not had a chance to talk. (I would prefer to do it in person rather than over the phone) - any thoughts how I should handle this one??

Sorry for the long-winded message, just posting this to keep everyone up to date and sort of record my own journal.

Thanks for reading and any and all input.

NSD