Stuck - I can relate to your thougts. It is hard to not think about her MLC or WAW syndrome.
I can only imagine, that for a reconciliation to succeed, it would be for her to make the first moves at showing she wants it. Mine failed to do that - just words like "I want another chance" from her were not enough. If she had really wanted another chance she would have really tried to convince me why.
Detaching does have its drawback in that you continue to lose the connection with the person you promised to spend your life with.
I dont think you should say or ask her to label what she has done. She probably knows it, but admitting it is something that will take her a long time.
Man, I am hoping she can get that awakening soon for you.
