It's too hard sometimes

[TooLateForMe]

And here's a little side note of some of the other things I'm dealing with.

At the same time as the original 3 month separation my sister lost her kids to her crazy ex-H. She drove up to pick of her younger S from his summer w/ the ex and her older S jumps out of her car and into ex's. They tell her they want to live with their dad and insult her and tell her how much they hate her. They all laugh as she drives off crying.

Now she works two jobs, trying to throw herself into work. Her boys came here the other day while she was gone to pick up some of their stuff, trashed the room it was stored in and took the younger son's dog. She loved that dog and felt it was a big connection to her children.

Today, to keep my mind off of my own problems, I was cleaning up the trashed room. They left behind so much stuff my sister gave them out of love, stuff I wish I could have gotten for my kids. Video games, expensive clothes and toys. It broke my heart. How could you do that? I'm trying so hard to save my family, to protect and love my kids. I realize they're children and children can be cruel, especially with such a screwed-up father like the one they have. It hurts to know the extent people can go to wound other people.

I was never like that. I was neglectful of my W's feelings. I never went so far out of my way to hurt her or manipulate my kids. It seems so unfair. I could never be so cruel but I'm losing my W.