For starters, you need a new screen-name. Something more positive and hopeful. That sounds hokey, but I do think it makes a difference. You're NOT going to die, and this thing is NOT going to overwhelm you. I know it feels like that now. The night I got the keylogger e-mail, showing what my wife was typing to OM on our home computer, I felt like a 300-lb. man was sitting on my chest, pinning me down -- I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to puke.
Over the next couple of months, she said she wasn't in love with me anymore, and I listened to recordings of her telling OM that she would NEVER love me again, and NEVER stay with me (and worse).
Today, our relationship -- while still having some struggles -- is 90% stronger than it has EVER been, we're ML more frequently than at any other time since we were newlyweds, she tells me she loves me every day and her affair is two years into our marital rear-view mirror.
It DOES get better, and what your husband writes -- or says -- right now does NOT mean it's the truth. If he's in an affair, his brain is awash with all kinds of "loooove" chemicals and endorphines right now that the closest thing you can compare it to is a middle-schooler in their first love crush.
It doesn't mean that's how he really feels, or that it's hopeless for you.
