I called a mediator today. It is the first step i have taken towards D. My H will soon have a place to live and will now take the kids. He is totally in love with OW. I found some letters today and they broke my heart. He says things to her that he never said to me. Why am I fighting for a H who is love with another? Why do I want to hold on to all of this pain. Can i ever forgive him? Will he ever give me the Chance? I hate this. I have my goals but I don't think they will ever be met. He is in love and planning a life with someone else. He doesn't love me anymore. Why do i think he will come back? I need someone to reply to help me. I am totally lost and heartbroken.
Die, If you take a look at my thread and read my sitch (click on the red 'My Intro Thread' link at the bottom of my post) from the beginning you'll see that I left my W a year ago and probably have done and said many of the same things your H has. She found correspondence that I had written to OW. It was much as you describe. I cant say what's going on in your husband's head but I can tell you that I was in a fantasy world trying to escape from my problems, a marriage that had been horrible for years, depression, low self esteem,. not feeling loved, possibly a MLC, etc., etc. When I finally woke up I realized how much I loved my W. The things I wrote and said to OW were bizarro fantasy land talk. Sure I thought I meant it when I said it but I was not human at that time.
There is definitely hope here Die. This is hard but you're amongst friends who are going through similar stuff. Things will be OK
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
