I mean, it has been a year. But I don't just mean the ML part. The whole intimacy/human touch thing. Holding hands, hugging, backrubs, sitting together on the couch, kissing, oh do I miss kissing. It is just getting to me this afternoon. People take that for granted, that you can lean over and kiss your spouse whenever you want. Until you can't. Grr....
I can't stop laughing!!! i hear what you are saying about intimacy. I am pretty intimate if you know what i mean....... and it was difficult. However, even though you have religious beliefs that are probably more conservative than mine, you should slowly get back to trying to date. Surely you weren't serious about waiting for him to sign the paper...then you will wait for the divorce to be official and then you will wait.....not that there is anything wrong with that!!!! You waited long enough...do what comes naturally....no God that I would worship would hold you accountable for your actions. Oh wait a minute, I am Roman Catholic are we supposed to fornicate strictly for procreation reasons??? Or have they changed that?
Have some fun (not neccesarilly sex)BBJ, you deserve it!!!
No John, they have not changed that! Is there something you feel you need to repent about?
BBJ, I'm with John here. Most of us who didn't marry young had to get over the value that we would only have sex in the confines of marriage. It was a dilemma I faced at the age of 18. And by the time I married at 26, I'd had more boyfriends than I had fingers to count them with. So I learned not to count either. Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to have an enjoyable life. There is nothing wrong with that.
I dont know if it works for girls, but I remember a scene in the movie Raging Bull where Jake La Motta used a pitcher of ice water.
Seriously, it sure is nice to partake in the physical part of a relationship. If someone were to ask me what my favorite hobby was, I would have to say working the secret services. But I also think it is important to go slow and not get into an intimate relationship too soon. But you also dont want to wait too long. I had a girlfriend once who I was best buddies with on a platonic basis for about 8 months. Then when it went to the next level, I realized she was quite frigid and we were incompatible for any long term R because of that. But I was still thankful for the good times we spent together.
The whole intimacy/human touch thing. Holding hands, hugging, backrubs, sitting together on the couch, kissing, oh do I miss kissing. It is just getting to me this afternoon. People take that for granted, that you can lean over and kiss your spouse whenever you want. Until you can't. Grr....
I couldn't agree more. It's been 18 months for me - I never, ever thought at this point in my life I would go 1 month without any intimacy, at ANY level, much less 18 months.
Our marriage therapist explained to me personally, after 6 months of marriage therapy and 11 years of his bs, that I just needed to move on. He needed help and he refused to embrace the concept. She told me I needed to take control of my life because he knew how to manipulate me.
After I kicked him out, he came by every night. I started to live a life on his weekends. I didn't date just went out with other people that he didn't know. Shockingly, he kept getting too sick to drive carpool on his weekends. He would text me he was sick could I drive his carpool? I would have to leave my only evenings out early to drive his carpool. Then I would find him sleeping in my bed.
So what do I have today? A person who sleeps in my bed. A person who has way too much baggage and has no interest in addressing any of it. A person who makes mucho money but seems to have to travel at the last minute -- especially when I have told him about my pre-planned events. I could go on and on about what I have, but it is useless.
Go out with the cute from Match.com. Do what you feel. If you continue to follow his lead, you will end up with what I have -- an unhappy nothing that snores.
Go out with the cute from Match.com. Do what you feel. If you continue to follow his lead, you will end up with what I have -- an unhappy nothing that snores.
LMAO!! Moving on you are soooo right!!! Damn they dont have match com here!! Thanks for posting, Kalni
Well hey I'm in piecing, in fact, I have pieced, as it were... and I'm not getting any either !!!!!!
Sigh.
I agree with the others Bobbi, do what feels natural, no guilt attached! But then thats easy for me to say, as I am an atheist, so I dont have to worry about the big guy upstairs (big girl?) xxx
