You are going through the same thing most of us went through. If I had to guess, you were so focused on your work and your family that you let your own social life and social support network slip.
I know I did.
When the bomb occurs, you suddenly realize that you have no-one to talk to and nothing to do.
It sucks!
But it's our own fault for letting it get that way, and it's our own job to fix it.
Here are some of the things I ended up doing:
- Reach out to the guys that I knew that live nearby , and organize a regular "guys night out"
- Got the racquetball players list from my gym and started contacting people to set up regular racquetball games. Some of these people became friends.
- Signed up for meetup.com and started attending events that look fun (it's not a dating site, its for clubs, etc)
- Contacted my old military buddies (none of whom live nearby) and planned a group vacation. The planning was a great way to meet and talk, and we just had a great time on a week-long backpacking trip together. We're now planning our follow-up for next year.
- Started actively contacting guys that I knew somewhat (used to work with, etc) to set up lunch meets or happy hour meet-ups.
- Went to some movies by myself. Put together a mailing list of acquaintences in the local area, and if I wanted to go see a movie (a good guy flick), I sent out a blast email to see if anyone else wanted to go. You'd be surprised at how many dads there are out there who would love to have a reason to take an evening away from the family and go see an action flick.
- Started going to barnes and noble to sit and read (R books at first, then others) - it's a great way to get out of the house for the evening after dinner.
It takes a lot of work. It also takes initiative and a willingness to put yourself out there. There are lots of people who want to participate in group GAL activites, but no one runs them - Step up and be that person.
These are just ideas - figure out what is going to work for yourself. Throw yourself into this 110% NOW. It is what is going to save you during the next months by connecting you to other people and keeping from sitting home and ruminating.
Go do it!
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
