Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Well, now that my enitre system is completely cleared of impurities, an epiphany:

Dylan version, whatever it was, was corrupt upon install.

Thus, after wiping the drive clean, Dylan version 1.0 has been reinstalled, then a patch with lessons learned from the flaud prodecessors to create Dylan version 1.1

My cousin is blown away that even tho I'm just a few days into it, I had ZERO desire for a beer last night. After applauding it an dI said, yeah at times it does get tough, but no, it needs to be this way; she kept testing me, 'hey, if you want one of mine, go ahead, it's just one'. Nope. Even after nearly getting the entire side of my truck re-arranged last night, no desire.

So, the reformatted version, is the clean me. Sure, I will have my entitled few on the weekend and when I go out for that rare occasion here and there, but NOT the every day ordeal, and NOT in the quantity as recently.

Why version 1.0 (upgraded?). Version 1.0 was about me. Coming from a royally messed up home life myself and on my own since 14, I have done A LOT of stupid things in my time. Then, the problem was 3-4 times worse, and it wasn't just alcohol either. But I was the only one to smack myself in the face and realize I had problems. And in doing so, I quit them all cold turkey.

So, version 1.1, thus far impliments much the same. But, with a added program of once I'm officially resolved of the alcohol issue, I should have all the confidence in the world to finally pick myself up and quit all the quesion of self worth, or if I'll ever be good enough to be with some one again, if I can ever trust someone again, and most importantly to start being more defensive and vocal of my own feelings and beliefs and all the other lessons learned through this experience.

I feel GREAT.

But, there is a virus that will have to be dealt with: 10/17.