Don't beat yourself up...because it happens. I will also tell you that it will happen again. A good focus is to try and reduce how often you do backslide....just like Rome, it won't take a day to change how you deal with things. Looking at the situation as though you have been dumped is a good strategy in my mind. What would have done in college if your GF dumped you? You would have not talked to her, healed your heart, find things to do, and eventually move on. So what has really changed because you are married. Not much at the relationship level.
Somebody asked me on my posts "what is your goal?"....I want to lovingly detach with the possibility of reconciliation without the expectation. The key confusing word is lovingly...That doesn't mean showering her with love or nice actions. That means I can still love her in my heart without showering her with love. Loving actions are more respecting her wishes of space and time, etc and living my life for myself. Does that make sense to you?
I will be on all day...so please don't contact her before you contact us. We will be here.
