I am failing to see any significant changes in you, Tristan. Your wife left, she has had some time to think, she came over for a couple of date nights, talked a little bit, agreed to marriage conselling (which I still think is a bad idea in your situation) but you are still allowing her to control your thoughts. You are still obsessing over her. Why?
She gained some freedom to make changes for herself but you appear to be remaining stagnant. This is not going to make for a successful recovery of your marital issues. She is going to continue to see you as the same needy Tristan if you continue to base your happiness on whether she comes home or not. Remember this OM has been waiting in the wings for over 2 years he is not going to disappear. Chances are he will ramp up his persausion when he notices her spending more time with you. As they say around here, you need to outshine this other man. Will talking about marriage conselling and the good ol' times be enough?
Maybe you need more time away from her to work on yourself. To realize you cannot base your happiness on being with someone else. Have you been going to the gym? Have you done something as masculine as colliding with another soccer player during a match. As Puppy suggests, "do something dramatically different." What caused your wife to lose attraction for you? Do what you need to do to get that back and maintain it. Honey, I love you and I miss you; will not be enough.
Hopefully, your goal is not just to get your wife back. Because, she can leave again at anytime. She has already proven she has no hestitation doing so. Right?
