But I need to get over the fear of setting the boundaries. When we have our other half walk out we become very pliant and try to complete every request that is made of us. We do this in an effort to please our WAW, and to show our acceptance that we must and have changed.
This then leads to us losing respect from our WAW, and our own self respect. When nothing changes, we turn to anger and resentment.

I have started to set boundaries with my WAW, IE, If she is going to be late to ring me and let me know when she will arrive and will you stop texting when I am talking to you etc. These small boundaries are important b/c we gain some measure of control back and then also some self respect. Only at this point can we begin to conduct ourselves in a more equal level to our WAW, and now we can be free of the fear of losing our WAW which is the ultimate aim of GALing. The aim of providing enough confidence to face the world and accept our sitch.

Tonight my WAW did stay for a few hours, but then took away my boys to cramped room in her brothers. She did'nt stay overnight in the family home.
This angered me at first and pushed down my mood.
But when I reflected upon the small improvements in the last few days and my belief that she won't Divorce me, I brightened up.
It is her choice to live where she is and to reject the comfort of the family home.

I will never understand fully why she left, but I accept that it is her choice. In her mind I am the problem - but she is no longer at the moment willing to help fix that problem - this I can not understand.

I also can not understand how she can cut herself off to all help, and continue to struggle as she is. It is almost as if she has to be proven right in something.

But the selfishness is beyond comprehension.

Regards,
Gyn.



Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away,
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday.
Take what you need,
And be on your way and,
Stop crying your heart out.