Just a question....why bother to dig deep to get the old feelings back UNLESS you know she wants back in? I mean, there is such a thing as restoration of the marriage and it MAY include first detaching, learning to not care so much and IF AND WHEN you are confronted by the poss of reconciliation and she wants to do the work too, THEN DIG DOWN DEEP and rediscover what you thought, you had lost...it'll be there. But in the meantime you will have started to heal. You are confusing healing and moving forward with starting to dislike her. Detachment may lead to seeming indifferent but it has to, in the sense that YOU will be alright no matter what. That takes a bit of "indifference", if you want to call it that but I see it as mandatory AND a heck of a lot more attractive. Love is a choice REMEMBER?? So if you have to, down the road, you can choose to love her again. Most of us have to make that choice towards our spouses at some point...I know I have and will likely have to again, and hope my h will too. We are not always lovable/loving creatures...
It does NOT mean being rude to her, or uncaring as a person, ("Uncaring" isn't the same as letting her go...hard to explain...) But just that you are doing your own thing and being a great dad and evolving as a man, exploring things and yada yada..."Oh, what's that W? Why do I seem so busy lately? I have a lot of irons in the fire...what? You want to do some "R" talk? Fine just let me know b/c I have my thing to do now so I'll see ya later, and have a great night!"
You are upbeat about YOUR LIfe...and when you are forced to think of her choices, or poss choices, you are hoping for the best but prepared for her to make some huge mistakes for herself...and that saddens you a bit but you know you have NO control over her and you know you'd be wasting your life worrying about what she might do so you have to live your life now...yada yada...and then do it.
I think you should Stop forcing yourself to feel all the good feelings in the midst of her confusion b/c it sounds like torture to me...just mho.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
