I am still here..just nothing new to post..he moved from basement to living room couch..acted like a drunken ass on sat. and yelled at me in front of our kids..then after I repeatedly told him not to do that I went to bed..he followed..said nobody loves me..it was such a turn off and so immature..then he called me a b in front of d on sunday for some dumb reason..maybe he was nervous about being around my family..lots of cuddling for the past couple of weeks..tnite he was an ass again..but wanted to cuddle then started with his famous drunken banter about what are we doing..you never talk about R blah blah blah..he does not think my changes are real..he said nobody loves me again..never once mentioned D...just do not know what he wants from me..he said it was odd that I never want to fight and there is something wrong with not fighting..i said no i just pick my battles and right now I am working on me..I said things like you cannot change someone..you have to love yourself first..and that he needs to let go of the past and stop holding grudges..he acts like I did something unforgivable to him...but i have been a good wife. I do not nag. I have forgiven him. He is acting like a 16 year old. I dont get it. What is so bad about me. I have lost 4o lbs..I run(training for my first marathon after years of hiding behind the half marathon)why am i not good enough for him..why cant he communicate with me..really..why doesnt he trust me. it is SO frustrating! and he needs to put his darn ring on..that bothers me the MOST! but I cannot tell him that!
