I'll spill what I'm thinking and feeling on detachment. Maybe you can relate to some of it.
Detachment is not a one-time thing but a process that happens in stages. It's like the lines at DisneyLand; as soon as you think you're done you turn the corner and bam...another long wait. There's another process to work thru.
This post-sep/div-coparent stage is not easy. With kids there is no clean break. There is no true divorce. O'dog guesses this stage of detachment will take the longest and will never be 100%.
O'dog doesn't want to care about the She but has interactions, conversations, comments, complaints, and complements and it's hard to blow them off. It's hard not to feel something (sadness, anger, etc.) no matter how hard one tries. We build those walls thick and high but there's always a window that we cannot close.
O'dog will mind-read a little and propose the She is probably thinking and feeling something similar. "I went to all this trouble and I still can't get rid of him. I hate talking about money, coats for the kids, or who's turn it is to pay the dentist. But what can I do? I've already divorced him."
Sometimes the O'dog wishes he could just move outta' here and not have to deal with the sitch and the She. Besides, it harsh in the winter and not great for the O'dog mood. But what's a dog to do? Leave the pups behind?
So while many prop up the O'dog with comments like "It's a whole new life. You can do whatever you want", they fail to see the strings (ropes, chains) attached. It's not freedom. It's parole.
Don't know anyway around it. Just have to go thru it. Just keep working on myself and not get distracted by the She Sideshow.
Where and when was that posted?
It's frankly not very inspiring. Honest and yes I relate but parole? No can do. Can't push through this much pain for parole. I have to think there is something better.
