Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[MrBond]

25MLC and Kerry,

Thanks for the posts. They really helped to get me back on track.
Just the way things came out through me for a loop. I let my guard down and paid the price.

The problem is now I actually am afraid of talking to her. I flashback to when I had my panic attack and actually feel afraid of talking to her. Even if it's just on the phone to ask her a question. It's gotten better, but damn I've got to shake this off. I know I'm stronger than this and I refuse to let her and this get the best of me.

You're right in that she takes alot for granted. I read something before about people in MLC that if they have poor coping mechanisms, they will have a tough time coming out of it and that describes my W to a tee.

I'm not planning to date anyone as my W is still at home with me and we're sleeping in the same bed.

I have to go back to the balancing act of loving her from a distance and concentrate on myself. It just felt like when I started distancing, I started losing what feelings I had left for her.

I came to a couple of times where I didn't want her any more and had to dig deep to get some feelings back. That's a tough balancing act - to not love too much or too little. I'm going to funnel that love back into myself and take it one step at a time.