Well, like usual, the endorphines are slowly wearing off and I find myself drifting to sadness.
I have conselling tomorrow, that will help.
I've decided that before the divorce kicks into high gear I am going to write our story down, sort of a therapy for me, but really as a legacy for our kids. Recounting all of the good and the bad in a relationship so that some day they understand all of this.
It is fun to write, I find myself unable to stop, but when I do, the realization that this love story has a sad ending really hits me.
It's sort of my version of Definitly, Maybe. My counselor suggested journalling, but this is my modification to that idea. A rememberance of how things were, lessons learned, mistakes made and wisdom gained....hopefully one day it will help my kids when they get married...to understand how and why things happen, but most importantly to realize that marriage takes a lot of work. It isn't magic, it is the result of hardwork, determination and forgivness.
If nothing else, maybe some good can come of this in the future.
Watch Chaos Theory sometime, I want to write that story for my kids; but right now, I think the ending will not be happy...but you never know. I still have a sliver of hope.
My wife emailed and asked to meet for lunch at the house to go over the transition of her comming home and me leaving. She added that she would bring the papers I need to sign. Bummer.
