So to shorten this up...me and wife have been married for a little over 7 years...known each other for 11 years...We have a had a great loving relationship...Up until this past summer and she was having an affair and admitted that she had been unhappy with me for 4 years....tells me it was nothing I did...she just did not think her life is where she wanted it to be and that made her unhappy with me...we have 3 children and our youngest 2 actually came during her periods of being unhappy with me....Now that the affair is over and she says that she wants to be with me and it was a huge mistake..Our marrigae has lacked intimacy for the last 2 years..and she admits that it was on and is on her part that the intmacy has gone...Just the other day she tells me that she does not think that Intimacy is something that should not be a factor in a marriage...She must not know the meaning of being married...Every marriage needs to have intimacy...She has admitted to me that she had been with the guy sexually on at least 20+ occasions during there month and half affair..and was on an average of 3 or more times a week...and one day they had done it over 6 times in a day..Something my wife has never given me...I always try to keep our sex life spicy...by offering new positions and different places...I get none of that...But was able to do all those things in the affair she admitted me to me...The only place she will make love to me is our bedroom..which is fine by me...but I always get the complaint that she just does not feel in the mood cause she is afraid that the kids are going to wake up...With a door and lock on our bedroom door..its not something that we need to worry about...and our children rarely ever wake up once they are asleep...Im just at a loss...I dont understand if this is what she really wants to do is be with me why she does not want intimacy to be in our marriage..If i gave her the option and said that it would be fine by me she would be fine having no sex at all...but to me sex is something that should be in a marriage...to me its not just sex...its that speical passionate intimate connection that brings you closer to one another...I just dont know what to think about this anymore...and she does not like to come back to bed with me because she fears I am going to bring up the talk about having no intimacy in our life and she does not feel like talking about it anymore...everytime I try to do things to her to try and get her in the mood..she pushed me away...even if we are in bed and I touch her very softly she pushes me away...I just dont know where her head is anymore...any advice
