I agree with OT. You may not have been "trying" to change her, but you've said so yourself that she isn't moving in a direction you're happy with or at the pace you're happy with. So you have "expectations" of her which is like trying to change her to what you want.
I know you've asked her what she wants, but somehow it sounds like she tells you things that you want to hear. She feels the pressure you put on her and is still lost in that fog in her head. Maybe you need to act as if she was really gone and see what happens.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Sorry but I have to disagree with you two. And after this I am no longer going to respond to it. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink...NOT that I think my wife is a horse. But I lead her to it if she drinks fine if not her lose not mine. I am not going to bring up what she read or how she feels about it. The book is now past tense unless she brings it up. One thing she brought up was that I sometimes grind my teeth. So I went out and got me a night tooth guard. Now it kind of makes me gag but I am going to try it anyway. I have also been very busy doing my own thing and every once in a while I will ask wife if she wants to come along. If she does great if not I go without her. No worries, no attitude on my part….
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I've been reading Compassionate Marriage based on your recommendation and it's great! A real eye opener in terms of understanding what my W is experiencing. I can see why you said the other spouse doesn't have to read it too. I think it's going to help me to talk to her in a manner that's non-pressuring to her.
Sorry for the hijack DL. Just wanted to thank OT for the good read.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I've been reading Compassionate Marriage based on your recommendation and it's great! A real eye opener in terms of understanding what my W is experiencing. I can see why you said the other spouse doesn't have to read it too. I think it's going to help me to talk to her in a manner that's non-pressuring to her.
Sorry for the hijack DL. Just wanted to thank OT for the good read.
No worries Stuck, I do agree that it is helping me. AND YES both do not have to read it but it would be nice if a couple did do it together. But you and I seem to be doing it ourselves which is ok. It does give us a better understanding what our wives are going though..
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
