My sitch...long but please indulge me

[RedSoxFan]

D is what my W's wanted from day 1. Question for you...in that 10 month period, were you with OW all that time or did that end prior and you just didn't know what to do?

Roughly 1/3 with her, me in la la land, 1/3 coming to my senses and understanding what I had done, then put the brakes on told her I realized it was wrong...wrong to start a relationship while in another relationship and wrong what I did to my family. We did not end on bad terms at all. She probably still has hopes for the future. Last 1/3 was getting my sh*t together...thinking about next steps, W and I were talking about how we were working on ourselves, etc....then bam! OM showed up

I'm not completely ready to push the D, but if I'm understanding you correctly, a little nudge won't hurt. DB principles say if something isn't working do something else. Not contacting her in 5 weeks hasn't worked. Maybe a little nudge to generate some dialogue either way is better than the status quo.

Exactly!

I've noticed an interesting cycle with W and me. Something happens like my asking for a copy of separation agreement last week, she gets really mad. I think it's all over for sure. I get upset. Then we end up having a heart-to-heart and some renewed feeling of connection or working together. Something happens to open the door for just a little bit. I'm not saying we're inching toward reconciliation, but maybe toward being friends or healing.

It may also just take time. It did for me. Would have been amazing if W had discovered DBing and decided she could wait. We might be together now. I'm not trying to look in the rearview mirror...just thinking about your sitch.