EB Welcome back! How are you doing? Sounds good that you are getting out and GALing!
So - update. Things went pretty well last night with my new attitude. I was positive and upbeat when H came home. He was late and on the phone and the old me would have felt resentment - I just dealt with it, fed S, played with S until H was on the phone, said "no problem."
When I got home, I kept to myself and felt good. Then we had a big talk. H is getting a bigger apt with a lease. I stayed positive and told him I support him in doing what he needs to do to be happy. That was positive, esp. since the whole thing panics me to no end. I did voice that it scares me a little, but he was receptive.
Then more about the sep. papers. I did not handle that so well. I started to get emomtional and said why is he doing this is if he's nor ready for a D. etc. H was very calm and explained his thinking to me again, kind of a reminder of what he already had told me. It was positive that he was so calm and talked and listened. We stopped talking after a while.
Then back to Mr. Hyde. In a flash, he turns to me and yells about how I've taken up his time and he had hours of work to do and now it's bedtime and he shouldn't have to repeat himself to me and this is why he hates coming home. Then yelled about the carpet and why does he have to take care of everything and why can't I do anything.
Positive is that I stayed calm and just validated him. Offered to let him sleep in while I get up S in the morning.
The negative - what I need to work on - is that I told myself I would stay up beat and positive and I lost it. I should have just faked it and stopped myself and supporting his new apt and not getting into the talk of the legal sep. This opened the door to him making me feel worse after feeling better.
But I'll learn - be more positive next time. Keep these R talks to a minimum.
Also, I need to remember that when he has work to do, I just need to give him space. He won't be supportive when he's stressed about work.
The problem is, he is almost always working. Oh well. Space. Give him space.
