My sitch...long but please indulge me

[billclay18]

I left W and didn't say or do anything significant for 10 months. I don't know why but it took me that long to thaw my brain out and understand what was going on. I didn't move to divorce her because wanting to divorce her never entered my mind. Still hasn't.

D is what my W's wanted from day 1. Question for you...in that 10 month period, were you with OW all that time or did that end prior and you just didn't know what to do?

I also find that each time I think the next move is going to be the end-all-be-all deal breaker...it isn't. Its just a small step in the process forward...which will happen regardless of the outcome. If you ping her or don't ping her it won't be huge. Leaving the table and cashing in your chips will be.

I'm not completely ready to push the D, but if I'm understanding you correctly, a little nudge won't hurt. DB principles say if something isn't working do something else. Not contacting her in 5 weeks hasn't worked. Maybe a little nudge to generate some dialogue either way is better than the status quo.