My sitch...long but please indulge me

[RedSoxFan]

OK, after pondering it for a day, not sure I'm ready to push the D and get this over with quite yet. I've been thinking about why my W hasn't responded in any way to the paperwork. My guess is now that she sees there could be financial ramifications for her (re: splitting the negative equity), what reason does she have to bring it up or move forward with the D? Sometimes the dynamics of the sitch need to change, so what if I stir the pot a bit...a simple email asking if she had a chance to look it over?

Hmmmm. Two related thoughts...

I have received tons of advice to calm down, let go, and slow my expectations and actions if I really want to save my marriage. Sound familiar? I have felt great somedays and felt discouraged on others...wanted to move on several times...probably will tomorrow. It might be the case that doing absolutely nothing right now is the thing to do. She is in the marinade right now.

I left W and didn't say or do anything significant for 10 months. I don't know why but it took me that long to thaw my brain out and understand what was going on. I didn't move to divorce her because wanting to divorce her never entered my mind. Still hasn't.

Does it really make that much difference if we stretch this stuff out a bit longer? Wait a bit more? Try a bit more? I have to believe I'm going to be a much better person as a result.

I also find that each time I think the next move is going to be the end-all-be-all deal breaker...it isn't. Its just a small step in the process forward...which will happen regardless of the outcome. If you ping her or don't ping her it won't be huge. Leaving the table and cashing in your chips will be.