WAS's who returned...why did you return?

[C-Bart]

Think my WAW may have given me some insight, not that we are reconciling anytime soon, but it has value non the less.

What she said is she caves in to easily to me. The way she puts it is she cow-tows to me. The way our MC put it is she is unable to maintain herself in a relationship. I've "talked" to some other folks on here that have similar issues. They make all the changes in the R but the WAS is afraid they will loose themselves again if they get back together.

Actually this is a shared trait in our R. I cave in and try and please her, she does the same. Although it provides a temporary fix to an issue it builds toxic resentment in the long run. Its hard to be yourself when your trying to make everyone else happy.

So my challenge for myself is to be self-centered. To do things that meet my needs. To take care of myself and be strong. This may sound selfish but its not. After all I'm the only me there is and if I don't take care of me what good am I to my family?