Been married for over 7 years and known each other for 11...Have been in love with her from the day I met her and always thought she loved me...at least she did at first...My wife had an affair over this past summer...lasted about 2 months and was to the point after the affair started she came home 2 weeks later and told me she was not happy anymore and did not think she ever would be but she wanted to stay and try to see what we could do to work out..more at my request than hers...and she ended up still having the affair behind my back during that time...once I found out about the whole affair she told me she wanted a divorce and then turned around and cried very emotionally for hours telling me that she does not want a divorce she was only saying she did cause she thought thats what I was gonna tell her and she did not want me seeing how hurt she was going to be by me saying thats what we needed...well i love my wife and always have...still have every feeling i ever had for her...that will never leave and we will get through this...it is what we both want...however she has told me they have stopped talking to each other...and now up till 2 weekends ago I found out they were still talking multiple times a day on the phone while she was working...3 rd time they both have lied..she to me and him to his wife..and it was even to the point he was asking her if we had sex over the weekend of our anniversary and how many times we had sex on our getaway for our anniversary...then turns around and tells her that it was really nice to know that she was still able to give it to him more in a day than what she could give it to me...this is not about sex to me...but more of intimacy issues...i dont just have sex with my wife to have sex...I want it to be passionate and full of connection...but my wife still has no desire for intimacy in our marriage...she even tells me it is not something she thinks that should be a big part of marriage...she thinks that it should just be something small if that...I am at my point where i dont know what she is feeling..she tells me everyday this is what she wants and she will never do it again and wants to spend the rest of her life with me...but yet says little things she wants me to change..and they r little things...like she wants me to not say things meaning with sex to her...like saying that i have waited all day for her beautiful face to come home from work and once I have seen you its all I can think about to be with you tonight...and she gets upset when i do that...She admits to me that she has told the other guy that we dont have much of a sex life on her part...and we still dont...but she admits to me that they had sex multiple times a week...and usually for us its once a month....and its not the same routine..I am always attempting to try new things and she 99% of the time will not allow it...but yet admitted to me that she tried a vary of different ways with the other guy...Why would she tell me these things and expect me not to hurt and or want them even more knowing that she is wanting them and fully capable of it...when i seldomly talk about it to her she says to me that none of that should matter and all i should worry about is that I have her for life...But if I have all these feelings and all this love and everything else I have for her just bottling up inside me...why is it fair for her to just keep shutting me out and not wanting it...when i attempt to try and be intimate with her she literally pushes me away...not hard but will push my hands away from her body..any advice
