I need to release one vent and get it over with. I have come to a point where I fully accept my role in the deterioration of the R but one of the hardest things about this for me is how someone who supposedly loves you and, according to them, has been working for years to save the M can reach the point of EA/PA and wanting to separate without ever sitting their spouse down and giving them the hard truth about how they feel.
It is the power of feeling desired, attractive and sexual in someone elses eyes. It could have started as simple as something as a lunch room conversation or text messages of a business nature. That opened the door to curosity; and the more interested this other person was in your wife the more your wife felt desired. A little flirtation, probably instigated by your woman, is returned and the fantasy begins.
It is ignorant to think she did not tell you how she felt. She gave you so many more signals then she gave the OM. You just ignored them or more likely took her for granted. Big strike against you when you begin to take a woman for granted. And no she wasnt going to sit you down to explain to you how she felt. If you love her and are captivated by her you should just be able to know all. Well you didnt and someone else was capitvated by her and wanted to know more. And that is powerful. The interest, the desire, the sexual curosity that she had wanted and wasnt receiving at home. BAM! couple that with the adventure of something new, she gobbled that attention up.
What do you do now? Your wife has "admitted that she has been with someone but that it was more of a once or twice kind of thing. Thats kinda bad. (I put being cheated on pretty high up on my list of things I would not want to happen to me.) So it is necessary you continue to investigate your wife's doings. How can you effectively work to save your marriage if you do not know what is going on, whether she is actively involved in a relationship with another man, or she is dating several men trying to find mr. right while stringing you along or that is isnt interested in anybody including you?
