Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[etrain]

More journaling:
I'm a little nervous with MC scheduled for this afternoon, so I apologize if I keep posting every thought in my head today.

Things I'm thinking about bringing up during MC today:

- Back in March, my W initiated MC for us because she wasn't feeling happy. Wee finished our MC in May & we both thought it went well.. but apparently the "results" were short-term. What happened since May to convince her that our M is beyond repair. Why such an attitude change over such a short period of time? She went from pushing me to attend MC to not wanting to try at all.

- Also want to bring up that W was diagnosed with depression back in March when we were going through MC. She had 2 IC sessions before our MC started & that's when she was diagnosed. W is strongly against meds but did take them for 2 months, during which I thought things were better between us. (She'll disagree w/ that, BTW) Then she stopped taking the meds & here we are again. W gets VERY defensive when I bring this up. Doesn't needs meds, doesn't want meds, thinks they make her feel "numb" & she's not herself taking them...thinks it has NOTHING to do w/ our M problems because she's fine now.

- Something I'd like to know but aren't ready to bring up at MC yet. If W was "never in love" & has no hope of things getting better, what is she waiting for??? Too much of an ultimatum to bring up at this point, IMO. But that's what's running through my head right now. Is she waiting for an apartment to open up?...a loan to come through?..waiting to have an OM all lined up before she leaves?...what's the deal???


Or maybe I should just keep my mouth shut at MC today.
She has been a little nicer to me lately...even asked me if I wanted to come downstairs to watch TV with her last night. The cold stares & 2-3 word answers have gone away. But still absolutely no physical contact. Our morning goodbye hug/kiss stopped about a week ago. Maybe she's confused. I don't know.