......Somehow noew for the first time in all of this I feel empoweed nothing he can do can hurt me anymore Hes done it all abandond his kids M that b**tch ruined our business he is a drug addict I dont love/want him anymore and I will not spend the rest of my life covering for him at work and with kids peace
WooHoo!! You are sounding so strong and confident!! I know it still hurts to see someone you love making bad decisions and hurting themselves, but you have done the work for you and seem to be growing more all the time. You should be so proud of yourself!!
Originally Posted By: peacetoday
....Me and xmil made amends I have no animoussity toward her i am happy she called and wants to speak to my kids peace
This is a wonderful thing too! I still maintain a good relationship with my in-laws, although I have often wished that they would be more up-front with STBXH about their concerns and opinions on his behavior (that they have shared with me)...... they pretty much just step back and don't say a word (which is the way his family is......they will argue with God over little stuff but NEVER talk about the real messy stuff like feelings and relationships and such) But, then the truth is that STBXH probably wouldn't have listened anyway.....
Keep on dancin' to your own tune, sweetie!!!
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
Hi friends XH is coming to wok sober since our run in last week I think he knew I was seriuos and I did seek legal help which is in order momentarily egarding the business so for now xh is normal working hard visiting kids somewhat more consistantly not talking to me..but that is ok I guess im the mean mommy who told him he will lose his job if he comes in high
So seeing him normal seems weird and evokes this strange feelings in me again like what happened to him How could he just leave without trying he gave up everything and seems ok with it I wonder if his NOT talking to me ties in with his guilt Does he realize yet all the pain he has caused or is this normal looking xh just peeking out again of the fog??? and for his new wife?? I am in a new R too I like this man --I felt all the same strong attraction and intoxxxxication all these was feel BUT I would not leave my family for this man so I dont really get it Is it b/c im rational not in crises I still feel the anger toward xh for all the pain he has caused me and kids especially by M his OW how low to M a person who cheated with you on your family a person his mother and her family said seems weird YET xh seems to keep moving along appearing normal avoiding debt issues and newly M without a second thought I guess Im still baffled peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi Peace, I don't often post now, but read your post and just wanted to say that I have felt very much like you do. Years down the line I think in a strange way I am glad that my H married the OW, because otherwise what was the point of so much heartache for me and my children. At least I can (in my head-never my heart) reason that he did all those things and abandoned his kids because for him it was the only way as he was "in love" It is the only way for me to come to terms with his m! probably won't help you much but just to let you know that for me,it helped to take that POV. I wish you well in your new R.hopfully we have learnt and grown stronger through all of this madness.
I could have written your words myself!! I too have been really struggling this week with letting go. By that, I don't mean I'm wanting a reconciliation so much, as getting past the pain of loss and betrayal. It's just so not fair!! It makes no sense! How can a man I knew and trusted so completely have changed so much (and I knew my H's family since I was about 10 years old!). It totally baffles me too!
I still find it easy to imagine STBXH regretting his behavior one day, but it will be too late by then I think (if I have moved on and found another love, I will not look back) ...... which breaks my heart!! It just seems so pointless!
Last edited by Silent Chrleader; 10/03/0909:54 AM.
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
well XH remains sober he seems to be more available for kids than Ive seen in a long time
He is answering phone and calling back promply yestaerday, he spent day with D 14.. picked her up from beach event then came to get s8 to spend more time XH told D14 that he had a GF and gave name of OWwife he said nothing about his new M he showed D14 where he lived as they were walkinhg on the beach to get his car He ofcourse was NOT totally honest with D14 but less secretive than in th past d14 told Dad Mom was dating too XH said IM happy for her
so I felt angry when D14 told me all this First of all, XH makes his new wife sound so innocent like they just met and what a great person she is she is 28, a homewrecker,smoker, drinker and a child abandomer we dont smoke so I have mixed feelings here How can I let my sweet 14 D meet this b*tch..not knowing the truth How can I let go of all this so I can really move on its obvious xh made his choice and still he appears that it was the right one I may be baffled for the rest of my life
But If xh stays sober, tht will help so I dont want to create any extra tension right now I will talk to my mentors and let go peace I could never go back anyway
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Your child will eventually see her for the b---h she really is. It just takes some time. You can't prevent them from spending time together. It does hurt and is quite painful, but what is new right? We get use to all of the pain. Sad isn't it? I am glad your ex seems to be coping better.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
well did I speak too soon XH started up again yesterday Im so tired of him trying to Scam our business for money when he had full control of it he spent everything ,ran it practically bankrupt since Ive taken over , he is on salary thats it all was ok until he strted agin with wanting extra It was little and escalated into a fight with us I need to keep my boundreis firm with him as he tries to Bully me so im not looking forward to today I never know which way the wind will blow in his MLC mind peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
But, then the truth is that STBXH probably wouldn't have listened anyway..... 
