Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I am having a good weekend so far. Exh is MIA which is nice not to have to deal with him, but at the same time I know he is up to no good and the same crap which makes me want to prove his unstability all the more.

He came after work yesterday and spent 30 minutes with her. Said he would see her this morning for his scheduled visit. He called when baby and I were out last night and I didn't answer..no message. At 12:30 last night he was texting random stuff which = drinking. I had texts on my phone unil 2:00 a.m. Then he never showed up or called for his visit this morning. 11:30 sends a very generic text "give baby a kiss for me". No comment or explanation of why he didn't show up or at least call to tell me he wasn't coming.

I know I shouldn't care what he does..but I do for evidence sake. I know him. I know his patterns. He probably got schloshed, probably still is and is trying to hide it. I KNOW he isn't sober, but there is no public proof of it. This scares me to death.. my attorney said with no proof a judge may think he is just fine. UGGH....

So baby is now down for her nap. After she wakes we are going to pumpkin patch. Tomorrow after chuch we are going to the zoo.

[kassie]

Enjoy your time out and about. Sounds like fun.

[Startingover2]

This morning on our way to church I stopped by the store. I pulled in and parked. As I was getting out I saw exh walk out of the store with a basket full of groceries, head down,past my car, and walked straight to married gf's car and got in. They had to drive right past me to get out. He kept his head down. I know he saw my car.

Wow. That was really hard to see but it wasn't devastating. He didn't look that happy. He has the worst life. It did make me want to hold my baby tighter. To want to protect her from all of the evil in his life. I can't think of one good thing he is bringing her and maybe that is why he stays away so much. I haven't heard from him once since that text yesterday morning.

I am so thankful my life is without him now. No its not what I wanted but I know he is doing the same things just with someone different. He is still an addict, still a cheater, and without some huge change will always be this way.

[Startingover2]

Weekend over and despite seeing what I saw, I am still breathing. Maybe I am making real progress. A good friend of mine said she sees real progress in me lately with happiness and closure with exh. If I saw him a year ago I would have melted and had a major breakdown. That is progress to me. I know he is such a broken mess of a person and really isn't getting any better...just worse.

Tonight is my night to host MNF. Game starts about 30 minutes before exh's visit time is supposed to end. He hasn't made many visits anyway and never stays that late. Watch..today he will do both.

[JAK58]

Hi SO2,

Found you here. Just keep living your life for you.
If XH shows for his visit and is there when people arrive just let him see that you are happy, outgoing, and full of life. To Bad So Sad for him he had his chance. Make a life for you. You will be fine. Keep getting him out of your thoughts more and more as what he does is his problem and has nothing to do with you.

As far as DD goes you have to know there is no problem there not when he is on the path he is!

Have a fun night.

JAK

[blindsided1]

Good job, SO2. Way to work through it. I am proud of you...just keep moving forward.

[Startingover2]

Another no show. I really hope this lack of visits has some pull in court someday.

[JAK58]

[/quote]Another no show. I really hope this lack of visits has some pull in court someday.[quote]

Im'e sure it will!

JAK

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I can't think of one good thing he is bringing her and maybe that is why he stays away so much.

I do believe this too. I would almost guarantee that he hates himself, and thinks, what do I have to give to her...nothing. (of course he's not going to convey this to other people though)

and until he starts having some kind of pride in himself, or love for himself and his life, or real love for his D, he's not going to try to change. He probably feels whats the use, nothings going to change anyways, and the addiction feeds into him a temporary fix for his problem.

I'm glad that you weren't devastated when you saw them in the parking lot.

Again, most of everything you post is about him. You did cover yourself and mention some positives, so good job. just keep doing that. True, you need to record all these things he's doing, but we want your focus AWAY from him, not all over him. so keep trying, it will get better.

[Startingover2]

Well...either you are right ST and he hates himself or its the quiet before the storm. Since I saw him on Sunday he has really fallen off the radar. Texts are few and very short. Its almost like he is angry with me for some reason. This happens with him...I bust him on something he doesn't want revealed and he gets angry with me and gives me the silent treatment. Oh well.

Today is a visit day...wonder if he will show?

I wish I had more to post about myself today, but not much is going on lately. MNF was pretty fun. They are all getting together this weekend but obviously thats out for me. Its ok...I would rather be with my baby girl anyway.