I'm really glad that my story gives you hope, I reallt am...but I don't see how it does.
My wife reaffirmed yesterday that she wants a divorce. We saw an attorney. She had the papers ready and we signed them; though she was missing pages.
Over the last 5 weeks I found hope in little things, now I am not.
In fact, I am finding the opposite in litte things. I'm feeling anger and jealousy and it hurts worse.
I'm sick. I worry that jealousy and anger are the "next step" in falling out of love and that I am moving on in the grief process. I don't want to give up.
I love my W so much and I hurt her so much, but all I want is to be a better man and show her that I am. Yet, I sat in bed last night crying that she wasn't there with me, even worrying that she was with someone else, moving on with her life. Again, I have no reason to believe that is true at all...its all a fabrication in my head.
I'm so sad today. We have the paperwork and will need to go through it this week before we file. We need to "draft" our assets, I pick something then she picks something, etc...
My kids will only be with me tonight, then an etire week without them. I am sick.
I worry about holidays and how it will be without them, but what is weird is not worrying about my lonliness without them, but feeling sadness that when they ARE with me, my wife will feel that lonliness. That makes me so sad.
I keep praying that this stops, but I know God doesn't always answer prayers the way we want; but just this one time? please?
Again, I am happy you find hopefullness in my story and I feel for your situation. I juust wish I could feel some hopefulness today.
