Falling in love all over again.... !!

[Cinderellaman]

It's been soooooooo long since I have been here...and I hardly recognize any of the names on the list...

All I want to do is come and tell you that there is life after all of this...

I have (had) one of the mildest MLC'ers on this board, and to this day he is still kind and loving towards me and the kids..so I must admit that I have never had to deal with some of the awful things some of you have had to deal with...I am so sorry for those of you who go through absolute hell..and yet I am also so proud of those who even survive that!!!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

And how are you Cinder?

[brandnewday]

Hi Sweetie!!

I am trying to read between the lines of your post.

Did something happen?

[Grace_O]

Hey Cinders!

I take it from the title of the thread that things are good?

[Cinderellaman]

Anyway... I have recently met a wonderful man. He is kind, loving, has no kids, has never been married, and just never seems to have found the right person...

It is very new and we are treading very carefully...but I truly think I could love this man...
I truly never thought I would EVER love someone else...my heart was so completely H's....(we are still not divorced, but it is now only a technicality). I guess what I want to say is, we all have huge amounts of room in our hearts, and there is plenty of room for new and other people, even when we think that all the love has been set aside for our special love...even then, our hearts find a way to put all the pieces back together and make it right...we learn, we heal, we keep going and life once again shines !!!

I hope and pray that in which ever way, all your hearts will heal and that love will once again take over..let go and leave it up to God or fate (whatever you choose to believe) to see who will end up entering your heart...

Dare to love again, dare to be vulnerable again, dare to give yourself again, for if you don't then it will never be fullfilling...and life is far too short to not take a chance at loving again !!!!

Bless you all, and thank you so much for all the given love !!!!

Take care xxx

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I agree Cinder...

Just for the newbies,

Her advice can and SHOULD apply to your new relationship with your spouse, once/if they come out MLC.

Only you know how long you can do this...and even then you'll surprise yourself.

Cinder, I am very glad for you and hope only good things come from this.

[forward]

Cinders, You always sounded so lovely and kind, and you, like the rest of us, tried so hard.

I am happy to hear that you have found someone who deserves you.

please do post of developments of (not with) your STBX--I think it is interesting to note when we do see some sign of them coming out of the fog, as I think it does show us all something about MLC.

[forward]

Also, Cinders, did anything change w/your STBX and his OW, or is OW still in the picture, clinging like death?

Please share some of this story as you are able.....!

[naej]

Hi Cinders, I am so happy I logged in and caught this post.
I had a big smile as I read your news.

Wishing you all good things.

[Cinderellaman]

Dear friends,

Thank you so much for your kind posts !! You truly are wonderful people...and you all deserve the very best in life !!!

H and ow are still together and seem very happy. I am thankful that ow is kind to our children. I do see that H has all the say in their relationship and that ow has just had to take it. But you know what...she does..and as long as she is willing to do that, then they will be happy together.

I don't think H has come out of the fog...I don't know if he ever was 'in' the fog...he just sees life differently I guess, and feels that we get along better this way (which we do, but it has taken lots of work and patience from both of us - something I used to feel would have been put to better use as in working on OUR relationship as a couple..- but that is in the past now).

We are good, and communicative parents now for our children and on some level even friends...I am fine with that. The pain has subsided, the heart ache and the anger are gone....

He still respects my wishes of not wanting to see ow or have her in my life..(as I'm sure ow finds extremely frustrating by now).

Of course I do realize that with me finding new love comes a lot of relief of guilt on H'side and he may now start pushing his relationship more in my nose, but I am now stronger, healed and more prepared for what is to come. Not because I have met this new wonderful man, but because time and positive thinking helped me get back on my own two feet again !

Life doesn't always turn out as we expect it to..and this is never going to be how I would have preferd it, but it doesn't mean that it may not turn out great !!

I know how hard this is to read when you just get here and only want your spouse to come back home...so I do not want to push and say that you have to see it my way...all I want is to give you all the hope of a good, bright and happy future...however it turns out !!!

Take care dear friends xxx